Depression Part 3: Finding Hope Outside Yourself

So far perspectives have played a large role in our journey to make sense out of the chaos we experience in life. The Bible is very open about suffering. Its pages are covered with the tears and blood of faithful saints that have persevered under the most strenuous circumstances. The apostle Paul would be one of these individuals. Many times it may be easy to read through the pages of Scriptures and disconnect yourself from the realities of their suffering. You may find it easy reading about Paul’s afflictions as you sit in your home, at Starbucks, or in church. Perhaps we have become soft Christians because we have suffered little in the light of some of these.

Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one—I am talking like a madman—with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant?

           

(2 Corinthians 11:23-29 ESV)

If you choose to focus on your despair and suffering and fail to look outside of yourself you run the risk of missing out on the opportunity suffering can offer. Suffering, an opportunity? I think it is safe to say that none of us have experienced suffering the way Paul did. Yet he did not allow his pain to lead to despair that would render him ineffective for Christ. What also is interesting is why he is sharing his testimony with the Corinthian church.

Paul’s ministry is under attack by the believers at Corinth. He begins to defend the ministry God has called him to in 2 Corinthians 10 and goes on to discuss his role in being the first to bring them the gospel and warns them of others brining a gospel differing from the one he shared 2 Corinthians 11:2-4. It would be easy at this point for anyone to through up his or her hands and give up on such a stubborn group of believers. Perhaps Paul could have become depressed and felt like a failure because they were attacking him. The situation is ugly and depressing, but Paul does not let that determine his response. The first thing to notice is that Paul’s response is based on his commitment to Christ and love for the souls of those in Corinth (2 Cor. 11:2).

Paul does not take their attacks personally. He is not focused on himself, nor is he going to meditate on his problems. However difficult and frustrating his situation, he does not allow it to distract him from his purpose. He looks outside of himself and focuses on God and the immature believers he loves so dearly. Because Paul is looking outside himself, he uses this opportunity as an example and lesson to teach others to not remain in their despair but to access the grace God offers to all those who suffer for His sake. 

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

           

(2 Corinthians 12:7-10 ESV)

When Paul’s ministry and character are put into question, he does not despair, but rather points his audience to Christ. Paul’s intentions were never self-centered and therefore their attacks were ineffective. Paul was able to bear all of his persecutions because he depended upon the grace of God.  When you depend upon the grace of God, the symptoms, pain, or suffering brought on by the situation does not lesson by any stretch of the imagination. Being stoned hurts. Grace does not make that feel any better. Grace does put the pain into perspective. Paul’s suffering had a purpose and was used to glorify God. Paul found a worthy Meaning to place his suffering in which helped him bear the pain, but it did not lesson the severity of it. Paul reminds us that whatever pain you are going through you can choose to respond in a God honoring manner and trust Christ will sustain you through it.

Walking out in faith while you are depressed is not easy, but as believers we are called to do it. While others see God working in your life—despite your symptoms of depression—they will turn to God and give Him the glory because in your weaknesses, His power is made perfect. For that reason, Paul was content to experience his thorn in the flesh and the suffering he encounter because of the gospel.  Your suffering is also an opportunity to show others that God’s grace is sufficient

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV

Paul wrote these passages of Scripture to aid us in our suffering. He lived this out not on pages, but in his life. Let us never forget the cost men and our Savior have willing endured for the sake of the gospel.

Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

(Hebrews 12:2 ESV)

Like Christ we are to look toward our cross with Joy and to endure the pain that has been set before us. Christ paid the cost we could never pay.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;

           

(James 1:2-7 ESV)

Christians are comprised of emotions and we cannot always control the emotion we feel, but we can control how we respond and perceive those emotions. We must choose today that our belief and faith in the truth of God is going to govern the choices we make instead of our emotions. We will battle through this journey because the suffering on this present earth is a testing ground that will play a critical role in my spiritual development for eternity. Do not let your emotions cause you to doubt God’s truth and victory over various trials you experience. He has provided the Holy Spirit as a comforter and the church as a family of love and support. God does not expect us to suffer in isolation, but He has never promised that we would not suffer. Know this, that no matter what the cause or source of the pain you are facing today, you can turn to God. Cry out to him like the psalmist and seek His face. You will find a God who is righteous, Holy, compassionate, full of wrath, and grace who intimately knows you. God is not distant in your suffering.  

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

(Hebrews 4:15-16 ESV)

Depression Part 2: Finding Hope Outside Yourself

How can someone find peace in the storm? When will the depression lift? Is there real hope out there? Has your struggle with depression left you asking similar questions? Perhaps you have tried an exhaustive amount of resources in anticipation of gaining some relief. Yet, time after time you find yourself back at the same spot you started. Ed Welch described depression as ”Stubborn Darkness”. Many individuals suffering from depression often end up contemplating suicide as a way out. Some of them even follow through on their ideation. Stanford (2008) sites up to 15% of people with major depression die from suicide.

Staying silent on the matter is possibly the worse thing we can do. Listen, if you know someone who is suffering and begins to talk about suicide, ask them questions. Suicide is a cry out for help—the pain is overtaking them and they are trying to let others know. Not talking about it could make things worse. As a compassionate and gracious listener it is important to take suicide ideation seriously. Asking questions about how much they have been thinking about committing suicide? Do they have a specific plan or the means to carry out the plan? Have they ever attempted suicide in the past? These questions will help you assess the amount of time and thought they have placed on caring out the action. Direct the individual to supports that are trained with interviewing and assessing suicide ideation could save their life. These supports could include a local community or faith based counseling service. If the person appears to be in immanent danger, it is appropriate to call 911 and they will take the person to a local ER where they can be evaluated. 

Not everyone who suffers from depression is at risk of suicide. The clinical field of counseling has a number of potential methods for treating depression. The most common method in the United States is psychotropic medication. If a depressed individual is seen in a psychiatrist’s office, they will most likely be prescribed an antidepressant. Taking any form of medication for depression should only be done under the guidance of a medical doctor or psychiatrist. Many people have experienced positive psychoactive boosts in their mood as the result of these medications. According to the studies Dr. Powilson (2011) has analyzed, antidepressants are generally responsible for about 25% of the positive mood boost while 65%-75% may be the result of a placebo affect.

Antidepressants often appear to be a quick fix to someone’s problems, but in reality, the full affect can take up to 6 or 8 weeks. Since every individual is biologically unique, they may have to experiment with a multitude of antidepressants to find one that fits them and has minimal negative side affects. One should have a lengthy discussion about the pros and cons to taking antidepressants with their doctor and be informed about the various side affects that may result from the medication. Psychotropic medication can provide temporary relief from the symptoms of depression, but it does not address all of the potential influencers that are leading the person to feel depressed.

Thought processes and behaviors also contribute to depression. As noted earlier, the placebo is affective in helping someone with depression because it gives the suffering individual something to put his or her faith back into. They begin to believe that hope is possible once again. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was developed on the premise that addressing the thoughts and behaviors will decrease the symptoms. This form of therapy is commonly used in conjunction with or independent of the use for antidepressants in treating depression.

Electroconvulsive Therapy is another method that is currently being used to treat depression. This form of therapy uses electricity to stimulate neurotransmitters in the brain. By sending these shocks of electricity into specified sections of the brain, it increases the level of specific neurotransmitters.  Research is not entirely clear on why or how this form of therapy works. Nevertheless, individuals who have multiple sessions claim to have positive outcomes for treating depression.

The above means for treating depression have at least three things in common. They are all focused on symptom reduction as the goal—they do not address the depressed individual as a person and fail to incorporate spirituality into care of the suffering person. Spirituality may not be significant component of care for someone who does not believe in the existence of God. However, simply not believing a fact or truth does not mean it fails to exists or has no impact on the person’s life. Using psychotropic medication or forms of therapy to help symptom reduction are not a sin and can be very beneficial. The goal of biblical counseling is not simply to reduce symptoms. Therefore, I believe that a holistic approach to caring for someone who is suffering must always include each category of influencing factors mentioned in the previous article. In my opinion, this approach is the most effective and biblically based means to care for people suffering with depression.

Practical truths and principles of “whole wellness” can be shared and applied by any one looking to find peace and hope through their experience with depression. Determination is going to have to be used by both the sufferer and the person seeking to be a support. A depressed individual lacks the intrinsic motivation and emotional drive to do anything. The team must determine in their hearts and mind to believe that hope is possible and to work toward it. No longer can they rely on their emotions for motivation.

Someone should never have to go through depression alone. It is critical to have a support group in place made up of friends, families, church leaders, and possibly professional clinicians. This team is there to help encourage and keep the person experiencing depression accountable to following throughon their whole wellness journey. Ann (1995) writes about how a pastor named Walter played a key role in helping her find hope in her journey with depression. One of the ways Walter helped was by not giving up on her. He continued to follow up with Ann long after others stopped showing that they cared. Just being there for someone who is depressed is a huge blessing and shows that you really love and care for them. 

A good support system will make sure practical behavioral and cognitive components are incorporated into the healing process. This can include showing up to their home and helping them get motivated or making them come out and go exercising. Perhaps their diet should be addressed. Help reinstate hobbies (journal, poetry, art, photography…) that they once enjoyed. Assist them with scheduling and balancing their time. Depressed individuals often feel overwhelmed with responsibilities or expectations. Some of those expectations may be unrealistic and should be filtered through the lens of Scripture.

The Bible talks a great deal about our behaviors and thoughts. We should encourage others to meditate on the things of God and apply the principles of godly living. Many of these principles encourage us to reach out to others, even while we are suffering. God never guarantee a pain free lifestyle, but He does promise life transformation and power to find joy and peace in the midst of storms. (Rom. 12:2).  These practical steps can be some of the first ones people take on their journey to finding hope outside of themselves. To find this hope we must first put suffering in perspective.

Depression Part 1: Finding Hope Outside Yourself

Depression is currently the leading cause of disability in the United States and second in the world (Stanford, 2008).  While many individuals have suffered from some form of depression, few can find the means to properly describe its impact and devastation on their lives. David Powilson (2000) seeks to accomplish this task in his booklet on Depression.

It is technically called depression, but it cannot be captured by a word. You feel numb, yet your head hurts; empty, yet inside there are screams; fatigue, yet fears abound. Things that were once pleasures now barely hold your attention. Your brain feels like it is in a fog. You feel weighted down.

Do you remember when you had goals? Things that you looked forward to? They could have been as small as going to a movie on Friday night or a job you wanted to accomplish. Now you have very few goals. Making it through the day seems like enough.  But every day is the same. There is no rhythm of rising and anticipation, satisfaction, than rest. Each day brings a dreadful monotony, and you fear that tomorrow will be the same as today. The flatness of life feels like it is killing you.

Clinically Defined

Major Depression falls under the Mood Disorder category in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM).  Individuals have been struggling with symptoms of depression since the beginning of time, but in 1856 Louis Delasiauve was the first individual to clinically identify these symptoms with the term “depression”. There is a wide range of symptoms identified in the DSM for diagnosing Depression. What distinguishes someone who has clinical depression from someone who is experiencing a temporary symptom of depression is the intensity, frequency, and intrusion on daily activities brought on by the symptoms. “Depression is characterized by one or more episodes in which a person has a depressed mood or loss of interest in nearly all activities for at least two weeks. Symptoms must interfere with his or her ability to work, study, sleep, eat, or perform normal daily activities” (Stanford, 2008). The affect of depression may have a similar impact on those suffering, but the causes or influences of depression can be very diverse.

Influencing Factors

No one thing is known to cause depression. It is more accurate to explore a number of potential influences that lead an individual to experiencing depression.

Biological factors are still being explored for potential connections to depression. A number of the common components could be associated with chronic pain, chemical imbalances, terminal diseases, prescription medication/treatment, and illicit drugs. While a biological influence can have a drastic affect on someone’s mood it is not the last place one should look for potential factors influencing depression.

Psychological issues are also a hot topic when it comes to depression. An individual’s self-concept and cognitive process are key elements for understanding how individuals interpret and apply meaning to their experiences.  Knowing their worldview is a good place to start when trying to understand why someone may think the way they do. An additional psychological component to depression is their mood disposition. Not all individuals are automatically excited about life. People are generally characterized as having an optimistic or pessimistic out look on life. Both points of references could lead someone to experiencing depression.  If some one has a very low or mild depressed disposition, they appear to be down or sad all the time. Those who are overly optimistic run the risk of experiencing a major tragedy and not knowing how to emotionally respond to it. They may continually act lightly of the situation and never face the reality of pain until it becomes devastating and prevents them from completing daily activities.

Situational depression is most likely responsible for being the largest reason individuals face depressive symptoms. The grieving process of losing some one may lead into depression. Experiencing a traumatic situation can leave the person physically disabled or emotional harmed to the point of depression. There are an endless number of possible events that could prevent some one from processing the situation in a healthy manner. What may seem like a minor situation to somebody could become debilitating to someone else.  Another situational factor might include the environment the person is living in. Environments can be chemically toxic, but they could also be emotionally toxic.  Addressing these components is important for helping the person walk through problems and apply new meaning to their experience.

The most controversial influence of depression is spirituality. For those who are religious, the factor may be over emphasized while someone practicing from a clinical field is generally going to undermine the spiritual components. A Christian worldview addresses every person as a spirit-embodied individual with a unique psychological and genetic make up. This spirit embodied being lives in a social environment that was created and is sustained by an all-powerful God.  Therefore, it is important to consider the previous categories of influence and how they all contribute to the problem. The borders of each category are not neatly cut and frequently, one can affect the other. Just because some one believes in God does not mean they will not experience depression. Many people in the Bible experience long periods of pain like Job, King David, Jeremiah, Solomon, Paul and several more.

Everyone experiencing symptoms of depression may not be living in active disobedience to God. However, to ignore sin as a potential contributor to depression is not to view someone from a holistic mind set. Living in sin frequently leads believers to experiencing feelings that could be associated with depression. They experience these feelings because they are attempting to live a life that is contrary to their beliefs. Rather than putting off the “old man” and putting on the “new man”, the believer chooses to live as if they are still enslaved by their sinful nature. This life style is very conflicting and will likely damper one’s mood.

Sensitivity to the brokenness of the world and the number of loss souls can also lead a Christian to feel depressed. Grieving over the brokenness of the world is not a sin. Nevertheless, we are to surrender this world to the sovereignty of God and use our sensitivity to reach out to others who are hurting rather than respond by isolating or becoming overwhelmed to the point of being ineffective for God.

Influence vs. Cause

As a society, we are eager to learn of the cause for our pain and a quick resolution. I would encourage someone suffering with depression to change the language from a cause to an influence. It is more likely that there are a number of diverse elements at work in influencing someone to feel depressed rather than one factor that causes him to be depressed. Using the term “cause” leaves someone feeling hopeless in his or her depression. If there is something that causes me to be depressed, then I must respond to the factor with depression. However, if I am only influenced to feel depressed, I realize that when I am exposed to these factors, they are merely encouraging me to be depressed and not causing me to be so. I can then trust in God’s power to help me learn to respond to these factors in a way that would not cause me to remain ineffective.

Just because something or someone is influencing me, does not mean I am no longer responsible for how I respond.  An individual can experience symptoms of depression and choose to respond in many different ways. Anger, self-pity, and withdrawal are just a few examples of unhealthy ways to respond to symptoms of depression. I can experience these symptoms without having to respond in an unhealthy manner or in a means that would not bring glory to God. Choosing to allow someone's biological, psychological, situational, or spiritual influencers to prohibit them from worshiping or bringing glory to God is choosing to remain depressed. I personally believe that while we can experience severe emotional pain and distress, we do not have to allow influencing factors to prohibit our ability to be productive for God. This does not mean the emotional pain is gone... it means I choose to rely on my beliefs to guide my response rather than my emotions or other influencing factors. I would argue that much suffering could actually lead someone to becoming more effective. This concept, and ways to offer support to those who are suffering with depression will be explored in the next blog entry.

•       Emlet, Mike(2011) Teenagers and Depression. CCEF

•       Powilson David (2011) Is Depression Purely Biological. CCEF

•       Powilson, David & Smith, Winston (2010) How do Biblical Counselors Think About Depression? CCEF

•       Sarason, Irwin & Sarason, Barbara (2005) Abnormal Psychology. Pearson Education Inc.

•       Stanford, Matthews (2008) Grace for the Afflicted. Paternoster Publishing

•       Welch, Ed (2000) Depression: The Way Up When you are Down. P&R Publishing

•       Welch, Ed (2010) Depression: A Stubborn Darkness. CCEFTube

•       Welch, Ed (2011) Does Depression Look the Same Around the World. CCEF

Depression: A Stubborn Darkness

By Ed Welch

CCEF Podcast & Video:Thoughts on Depression

by: David Powlison

Is Depression Purely Biological

by: David Powlison & Winston Smith

How Do Biblical Counselors Think About Depression

CLICK on the titles above to watch or listen to the content

Does Depression Look the Same Around the World

By: Ed Welch

Topic: Depression

Date: May 19, 2011

CCEF Click Here for Access To Article

Hope for the Grieving and Depressed Part 1: Grieving in Community

Grief could be defined many ways. Most people probably identify grief with loosing a loved one. It can also accompany people as they go through changes and transitions. Perhaps like the apostle Paul one may experience grief from some form of affliction that they cannot escape. Grief usually leaves people feeling a deep sense of distress from whatever the experience might have been. Not all levels of grief are equally intense, but everyone at some point in life will experience grief.

A Reality for All

Grief is a reality in life. Both the weak and the strong are broken by it and none will live above its reach. Why must we suffer? Where is the loving God when I experience so much pain? These are just a couple of the many questions that come to mind when we begin the grieving process.  As mentioned in a previous blog post, we live in a broken world. Sin has taken its toll on all of our lives and on this earth in which we live. Death, disease, and destruction have left their imprint on us and now we search to apply meaning to our experiences.

5 Stages?

Elisabeth Kubler Ross, also known as the "Death and Dying Lady", is most likely the most well known name when it comes to the topic of grief. She jump-started the study of grief and people grieving which lead into the development of her theory on grieving.  According to her theory, people go through five stages while they are grieving.  The first stage is denial or shock of what has occurred. Secondly, they transition into an anger of what has happened to them. Thirdly, they begin the bargaining stage in which they attempt to reason with themselves and even death concerning what has happened or is happening to them.  Fourthly, as their bargaining gives way, a cloud of depression overtakes them before they move on to the fifth stage of acceptance. To some individuals, these stages may at best imply some sense of order or meaning to their grieving, but in general the theory is broken and lacks the ability of directing individuals to any sense of real hope. All Elisabeth ends up offering grieving people is acceptance of their current state of grieving.

Deceptive Theory

While using the term "stages" appears nice and neat for a theory, it is deceptive to those experiencing grief. Stages imply an order and timely approach to how individuals grieve. It also implies that if I go through each stage I will be done with grieving. As if we can simply check steps off and be done with the pain. The act of grieving is much more a process or journey than stages.  Every individual will initially respond to grief differently. For some people the real pain of their loss may not settle in until a year or more has gone by. Denial does not have to be the first experience someone goes through.  Every experience is unique to the individual and their culture. In fact, when you consider each step in the theory, we discover that her view of processing grief is anything but healthy.

Messy Grieving

Assuming that one must be in denial about grief is to believe that we are lost without hope. We are warned about suffering and trials in the Scripture and are encouraged to not fear them, but to depend upon Christ through them. Anger can be righteous, but the anger discussed in the second stage brings on more of a victim mentality. The grieving individual begins to blame others and determine that it was not fair they had to experience the pain. Bargaining with grief exposes a moralistic attitude or manipulating characteristic that is trying to cheat them out of a journey we all must take.  Depression is the clearest picture of hopelessness and self-indulgence. In my despair, I tell myself I cannot go on with this affliction or without my loved one. I have made the person or item an idol in my life and have become dependent on it instead of God. Acceptance is supposedly the last and final stage of grief. There are no fireworks or happy ending here. The final stage simply pictures someone at the point where they have finally been defeated and accept the fact they never should have denied in the first place. Her theory is really a picture of messy grieving.

Elizabeth’s stages are not a good model of how people should grieve or process their grief. However, she does offer good insight to what people may experience when grieving. There will be a number of individuals coming in for counseling who may be very angry about a recent loss or depressed over an affliction that seems to be leaving them defenseless. It is not wise or gracious to simply confront them on their messy grieving and attempt to direct them to a cleaner way of grieving. The first thing we are called to do, as compassionate listeners, is to hear them out--listen to their story and build the relationship. Our response should not initially attempt to correct their theology or method of grieving. They are coming with a crisis and we need to address that crisis and then respond to them in love. As you love them, you will be communicating how to grieve "clean".

Grieving Clean

The Scriptures portray a much different picture of grieving. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matt. 5:4). Here we discover that we do not have to fear grief and should not deny it. God is promising that those who will mourn for His sake will be blessed and comforted. Christ has chosen to be our Grief Bearer (Is. 53: 4,5). He knows the burden is hard to carry alone and desires to bear the burden for us. We know that Christ can be a sympathetic listener because He understands. He Himself was acquainted with grief and called a Man of Sorrows (Is. 53:3, Jn. 11:35, Lk. 22:42,43). Christ is not a distant friend; He desires to come down and touch us while we grieve.

Grieving in Community

One practical gift God has given to believers who are grieving is the body of Christ.  Grieving was never intended to take place in isolation.  As a body of believers, we are called to grieve in a community and also bear one another’s burdens (Col. 3:12,13; Rom. 12:15). It is easy for someone who is mourning to isolate themselves. They stand out because of the issue they are suffering from and in turn, they may naturally withdraw from others. You can display love to someone grieving by moving toward someone who is suffering. Do not simply ask if there is anything you can do for them. Search out how you can help and act on it. Be available to listen to their story.  Sometimes they may even need you to tell them that it is ok to grieve or to affirm their need for grieving. Take time to show up at their home with dinner or to mow the yard. Reach out and love them. As you participate in their grief, you share your understanding of love and direct them back to God.

Scriptures are a comfort source to many individuals grieving. Here you can find first hand accounts of others who have suffered. Many people find comfort in reading through Job, the Psalms, or portions of the gospel. There is also great hope to be found in light of our eternity. When we view the promises of Christ and keep eternity in perspective, it is comforting to know our suffering is temporary and one day there will be no more tears (Rev. 7:17).

Grief is a natural process and we should encourage people to grieve clean. God grieves at the brokenness of this world and we identify with Him when we grieve. It is important to never separate grief and love. Christ loved much and because of that love,  He grieved much as well. Grief is the evidence of someone who has stepped out in faith and risked incurring pain by loving. We want to reassure others that grieving needs to end with redirecting people to the person of God-- Who is able to sustain all things. This Savior, although described as a Man of Sorrow, is also known to be full of joy (Jn. 15:11; 17:13) and He desires that everyone would also be full of His joy.


There are many differing reasons someone may grieve and we cannot address all of them on a blog. Please dig into the resources listed below and ask questions in the comment section to expound on topics. 


REFERENCES

Hambrick, Brad (2011) Taking the Journey of Grief with Hope Part 1-9. BCC

Huck, Robyn (2011) Grief Diaries Part 1- 6. CCEF

Lewis, C. S. (1996) A Grief Observed. Harper One

Powlison, David (2009) A Christian Perspective on Grief. CCEF

Powlison, David (2012) Christ’s Grace and Your Suffering. BCC

Welch, ED (2010) Moving Toward People. CCEF

Welch, ED (2011) Letting Go of Pain. CCEF

Welch, ED (2011) What has Helped in Your Trouble. CCEF

Welch ED (2010) More Things Not to Say to Those Who are Suffering. CCEF

Finding Hope through Grace Part 3: A Broken World

Pain and suffering became our reality the minute sin first entered the world and has been storming out of control ever since.  In Genesis 3 we see sin entering into this earth through Adam and Eve. The rest of the Bible is the story of how sin has severed our relationship with God and His continual work to redeem us back to Himself. Today we are affected by the sins of those who are closest to us, but also on a larger scale by those who influence our culture and humanistic mentality. A parent’s sinful desire for lust and sexual pleasure can leave a child struggling with a traumatic experience.  They could spend years trying to makes sense and process the abuse they experience at the hands of those who were meant to protect and care for them. We cannot ignore the affect those around us have on our development and health. In addition to the sins of others, we also deal with our own sins. We continually make poor decisions that displease God and contribute to our suffering. Despite what we tell ourselves, our sins not only affect us, but contribute to the suffering of those we love most.

Falling for Half-Truths

When we look at Genesis 3 we see an outline of sin that consistently repeats itself in our lives today. Satan confronts Eve not with flat out lies, but with half-truths. The serpent was considered to be one of the craftiest of all the creatures God created (3:1a). Satan, in his craftiness, begins his assault with a question to frame the attack. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” (3:1b). His next move is to challenge the truth that God spoke to Eve, by stating a half fact, “you shall not surely die”. We all know that Eve and Adam did not fall down dead, but they did experience immediate separation from God and their bodies did begin to decay. Satan influences, but does not cause Eve to doubt God by giving her another reason for why God would not want them to eat the fruit. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”(3:5). Satan is making it out to appear that God is attempting to keep something from them, something that would give her power, perhaps even something she deserves. We are frequently lead astray by well-intended half-truths that deter us from the will of God.

Selfishness that leads to Unbelief

These half-truths appeal to our humanistic reasoning and logic--they seek to satisfy some form of instant gratification or pleasure. The fruit was ripe and appealing to the eyes. It only made sense to take a bite and try it.  Eve could probably taste the meat of the fruit as her saliva glands began to work. The thought of being like God was most likely even more motivating. We may be surprised by the next reaction, but Satan was not. Eve ate of the fruit and it tasted good. She found instant pleasure in her sin. How often do we portray sin as this ugly thing that offers no gratification? If sin did not appeal to our reasoning and pleasures no one would partake in it. For that same reason Adam, out of his own volition, also ate of the fruit. At a decisive moment Adam and Eve acted in unbelief toward God. Their selfishness lead them to disbelieve God because they became focused on themselves instead of God.

Pleasures that Do Not Satisfy

The next verse (3:7) we see them beginning to realize that sin is pleasurable for a moment, but brings upon them eternal consequences. Their new sense of nakedness was not one of being ashamed of their body image or some enlightenment that they were not clothed. Their sense of nakedness came from an inward emptiness that God had once filled before sin entered. In a frantic attempt, they sought to cover and fill the emptiness and shame with a physical garment. Emptiness and shame were the first reactions and consequences to sin. Shame, in this instance, is healthy because they are acknowledging their inadequacy to fill that void. Where they fell short in their response to the new void was assuming that they could cover it upon with their own efforts.

Today we are still attempting to resolve our sin in the same means as Adam and Eve. We attempt to simply address our problems from a physical standpoint that focuses only on the symptoms and does not address the heart of the issue.  We will try and fill that void in our life with anything the world can offer to only rediscover the pleasure and joy of sin only last for a brief moment and our emptiness remains. Only God can fill the void in our lives and offer us real hope from pain and suffering. God did not immediately fix Adam and Eve’s problem, however he did not abandon them and He did actively engage with them in their suffering. As cliche as this sounds, God does not always take away our pain, but He does always promise to be there with us and carry us through it (Deut. 31:6).

So What?

Whether you are suffering from a medical disorder or spiritual emptiness, the core of what you need is still to seek dependence and wisdom from God.  Not only does the individual going through the pain need to seek God, but also the counselor or helper that is coming alongside the person suffering. We are all sinners in need of a Savior. God has provided common forms of grace to aid us through these temporal pains we experience on earth and He has also given us the means to find eternal hope and life. God desires to cover us with grace that will fill the void inside us and fill the gap between our separation from Him. As the Man of Sorrow,  Jesus is a relevant co-sufferer and as our Savior, He is the only one who can offer us lasting hope in this broken world.